Worst Metal Band Photos vol. 1: Norway

From the pages of The Metal Archives comes part 1 of my ongoing survey of the worst & most bizarre heavy metal band photos in the world.

Part 1: Norway

Enjoy!

--Nick aka BizarreRecords

Click on the slideshow below, and be sure the captions are turned on.

May i suggest you hit "PAUSE" and page through manually.

Unintelligable Metal Band Logo Quiz vol. 1: Norway

Match the unintelligable logo with the band! Then check your answers and compare to the handy chart!

THE LOGOS:


A.


B.


C.


D.


E.


F.


G.


H.


I.


J.


THE BANDS

1. Steinherj
2. Nidingr
3. Drept
4. Hideous Deformity
5. Utarm
6. Obtained Enslavement
7. Nox Hibernus
8. Miseria X
9. Odium
10. Mork Munin

ANSWERS:

x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x

A. 5 (Utarm)
B. 1 (Steinherj)
C. 9 (Odium)
D. 6 (Obtained Enslavement)
E. 7 (Nox Hibernus)
F. 2 (Nidingr)
G. 10 (Mork Munin)
H. 8 (Miseria X)
I. 4 (Hideous Deformity)
J. 3 (Drept)

YOUR SCORE

Correct Answers
0-2: Dumbass, some of these are pretty easy.
3-5: Lucky guesses for the most part.
6-7: Goth Metal blood drips from your open wounds.
8-9: Next you'll be burning down churches.
10: You cheated.

Worst Band Logos vol.1: Norwegian metal

BizarreRecords has recently discovered the Metal Archives. This site provides a nearly endless supply of hilarity which I plan to blog here on BizarreRecords.

Let me start with the band logos of Norway...

PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT


Throat Violence needs more colored pencils.


Buttocks. Really. I guess you wouldn't have to worry about someone else taking your band name.


Warfield sounds fat.


Black Magic needs a ruler. And a blotter. And a magic font wand.


Töxik Death. The umlaut makes it extra toxic.


Vigour Abruptness? What the hell does that mean?

WAIT, TOO MUCH EFFORT!


Any band logo showing the abuse of a child is likely not Soon To Be Forgotten.


Tritonus. Its just a bit "busy" to me. If it were on a T-shirt, I would prefer Buttocks.


Breed. Eeew.

AND A FEW MORE FAVORITES


Kvelertak. Ok that's kind of cool. If you like owls.


Mysticum's horns look like they were added as an afterthought.


Mundifare will cut you.


Minniv. Is that a sword or an upside down cross?

COMING SOON:
Match the unintelligable logo with the band!!

Bizarre Christmas Covers

Mickey Gilley, "Christmas At Gilley's"

Gotta love Santa hoisting a beer. a Gilley's beer, no less.


Harry Secombe, "Christmas Cheer"

Listen as Harry spreads his Cheer on ALL the little boys and girls!


Mirror Image, "Disco Noel"

Yet another Christmas disco record. The disco ball ornaments are pretty cool. Just don't get the fake snow mixed up with the stash of real stuff or the dance party is gonna be REALLY dull.


The Surfers, "Christmas From Hawaii"

The studly Surfers are rowing their way right into your Christmas party with a boatfull of presents and a pretty pink tree. But if you want to buy, you're out of luck; They're not for sale!


The Kingston Trio, "The Last Month of the Year"

Dave, Nick, and Bob... Three ding-dongs bearing gifts and ready to stick their fingers where they don't belong.

For more Bizarre Christmas album covers, see BizarreRecords!

more Houston Press blogs

More of my weekly blogs in the Houston Press. They get buried quickly so here's a link to several of the latest!