Worst Metal Band Photos vol. 1: Norway

From the pages of The Metal Archives comes part 1 of my ongoing survey of the worst & most bizarre heavy metal band photos in the world.

Part 1: Norway

Enjoy!

--Nick aka BizarreRecords

Click on the slideshow below, and be sure the captions are turned on.

May i suggest you hit "PAUSE" and page through manually.

Unintelligable Metal Band Logo Quiz vol. 1: Norway

Match the unintelligable logo with the band! Then check your answers and compare to the handy chart!

THE LOGOS:


A.


B.


C.


D.


E.


F.


G.


H.


I.


J.


THE BANDS

1. Steinherj
2. Nidingr
3. Drept
4. Hideous Deformity
5. Utarm
6. Obtained Enslavement
7. Nox Hibernus
8. Miseria X
9. Odium
10. Mork Munin

ANSWERS:

x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x
x

A. 5 (Utarm)
B. 1 (Steinherj)
C. 9 (Odium)
D. 6 (Obtained Enslavement)
E. 7 (Nox Hibernus)
F. 2 (Nidingr)
G. 10 (Mork Munin)
H. 8 (Miseria X)
I. 4 (Hideous Deformity)
J. 3 (Drept)

YOUR SCORE

Correct Answers
0-2: Dumbass, some of these are pretty easy.
3-5: Lucky guesses for the most part.
6-7: Goth Metal blood drips from your open wounds.
8-9: Next you'll be burning down churches.
10: You cheated.

Worst Band Logos vol.1: Norwegian metal

BizarreRecords has recently discovered the Metal Archives. This site provides a nearly endless supply of hilarity which I plan to blog here on BizarreRecords.

Let me start with the band logos of Norway...

PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT


Throat Violence needs more colored pencils.


Buttocks. Really. I guess you wouldn't have to worry about someone else taking your band name.


Warfield sounds fat.


Black Magic needs a ruler. And a blotter. And a magic font wand.


Töxik Death. The umlaut makes it extra toxic.


Vigour Abruptness? What the hell does that mean?

WAIT, TOO MUCH EFFORT!


Any band logo showing the abuse of a child is likely not Soon To Be Forgotten.


Tritonus. Its just a bit "busy" to me. If it were on a T-shirt, I would prefer Buttocks.


Breed. Eeew.

AND A FEW MORE FAVORITES


Kvelertak. Ok that's kind of cool. If you like owls.


Mysticum's horns look like they were added as an afterthought.


Mundifare will cut you.


Minniv. Is that a sword or an upside down cross?

COMING SOON:
Match the unintelligable logo with the band!!

Bizarre Christmas Covers

Mickey Gilley, "Christmas At Gilley's"

Gotta love Santa hoisting a beer. a Gilley's beer, no less.


Harry Secombe, "Christmas Cheer"

Listen as Harry spreads his Cheer on ALL the little boys and girls!


Mirror Image, "Disco Noel"

Yet another Christmas disco record. The disco ball ornaments are pretty cool. Just don't get the fake snow mixed up with the stash of real stuff or the dance party is gonna be REALLY dull.


The Surfers, "Christmas From Hawaii"

The studly Surfers are rowing their way right into your Christmas party with a boatfull of presents and a pretty pink tree. But if you want to buy, you're out of luck; They're not for sale!


The Kingston Trio, "The Last Month of the Year"

Dave, Nick, and Bob... Three ding-dongs bearing gifts and ready to stick their fingers where they don't belong.

For more Bizarre Christmas album covers, see BizarreRecords!

more Houston Press blogs

More of my weekly blogs in the Houston Press. They get buried quickly so here's a link to several of the latest!

Houston Press blog: Ratchell

Check my new blog in the Houston Press!

Halloween album cover sideshow!

I did a Halloween album cover slideshow for te Houston Press. Its a mix of my records and stuff sent to me or scavenged from the net. Check it out!

http://www.houstonpress.com/slideshow/view/175291/25

bizarre video of the day

Funny - Funny Videos

Sushi album covers

Well, Japanese food anyway. Too bad I don't recognize most of the covers. Should I email them Joyce?

http://jakeben.blog111.fc2.com/

Luv!

Luv was the top Dutch disco-pop band in the late 70's. Three hotties is color-coordinated sluttery dance and sing to regional fame and fortune!

Luv deep-throats giant throbbing microphones:


Its all about timing. And legs.


At first I thought they were doing a Dutch flag thing here. But yellow, red, and blue seems to be the flag of Armenia.

Jerry Williams! Swedish rock and/or roll

Just discovered this guy and had to share. Back when Europe loved America, every country seemed to have star rock and roller. These guys kinda rock! In a fake Euro Rock kind of way!





And the WHERE ARE THEY NOW file:

Dolly Roll!

Havent posted in forever, so I'm going to get things rolling with some classic Eurotrash music videos.
Here's Dolly Roll, the most famous band in Hungary:


And a best of anthology: